Notes on a Buddhist path

Delusion in the Mist

September 15, 2013 By | Leave a Comment

I heard the bay of a tempest’s distant lament off in the east and felt the lightest gauze of wet patter against my skin. My mind went to all that I wanted to do today or more truthfully what I felt I had to get done or should have done.

Belonging

September 2, 2013 By | 6 Comments

Last week our dog Buster died. I thought back to when he first came to live with us and the word “belonging” seemed to fit his place in our life. A ragged ache slipped from Buster’s wet coat the night he stepped through our front door and soon after that we wrapped him in a new blanket of belonging, him to us and perhaps, even more so, us to him.

I’ll take an order of unfettered and alive

June 9, 2013 By | 4 Comments

On this glorious nearly summer day, I find myself spinning in a blender of abysmal dread. Okay, dread may be too intense. Is cataclysmic overwhelm less alarming?

Going home

May 20, 2013 By | 4 Comments

Rather than a piece of ground, home for me has come to mean people rather than an attachment to buildings and businesses, shifting earth and fickle skies.

Some like it hot

May 5, 2013 By | 2 Comments

Today was summer. I put on sandals for the first time in eight months. I basked in the joy of sitting outside with a friend, sipping our coffees and our conversation without wind and rain and wool escarpments hindering our access to each other’s presence. All that said, I must admit to what might seem like a treasonous leaning on such a magnificent day. I miss winter.

Suffering: The Sequel

February 17, 2013 By | 5 Comments

This week I sat with death and endings. In my meditations I watched each inhale as if it were my last; each exhale the final one I would taste in this life.

An empty chair

November 25, 2012 By | 5 Comments

This grief feels thicker somehow. There’s no one here but me, rattling about and stepping over shadows of invisible cats, rewriting the script of my daily life.

The unbelievable lightness of being

March 25, 2012 By | 12 Comments

For months I had been in a state of dis-ease with my Buddhist practice, wondering where my beliefs fit into my life and what I held as dear.

Time to move

March 5, 2012 By | 8 Comments

There’s an enlivened charge for me these days around words. It could be my heightened sense of their proximity and my renewed vows towards my writing. Or maybe it’s the quaking of something that has wanted to emerge for a dozen lifetimes.

Leonard Cohen, may I have this dance?

January 29, 2012 By | 13 Comments

The other day I realized I may never have sex again. Or learn to play the cello. Or ride the Orient Express. When you reach my stage in life a lot of the things you thought would have happened by now haven’t and things you thought would never end now have a looming expiration date.

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